My Story "I think there is something wrong with your baby". I'll never forget those words of my doctor nor the fear and helplessness in his eyes when he couldn't get a heartbeat on the monitor screen. December 8, 2000 was exactly one week from the due date of my daughter Kaiya. She was our first baby. Over the previous months, as she grew, she was quite an active little thing. Like clock work , I would feel the strong stretches, kicks and hiccups of what was supposed to be my whole world. Never would I have dreamed that my time spent with her here on earth would end so tragically. In my last month of pregnancy, she really grew. As she got bigger her space grew more cramped inside of my tummy. Like most babies in the ninth month, her activities started to slow down the closer I got to my due date. I didn't think anything of it, I just grew more excited as the days went by. I never would have guessed the afternoon before the day she was born would be the last time I'd ever feel her move inside of me. When I woke up the next morning I realized that I hadn't felt her move since that last time. I was scared. After rushing to the hospital, the doctors confirmed that my precious baby had died. I didn't want to believe their piercing words, but they entered my heart and I realized my life would never be the same again. Having to deliver her vaginally, I was horrified at the thought of performing such a monumental task in my most weakest of moments. The tremendous amount of strength that came upon me was amazing. That day I performed one of the hardest things that a mother could ever possibly do. Kaiya died due to cord strangulation without a word or warning. Like so many of you I couldn't believe that I would have to tell my beautiful angel goodbye before I ever got the chance to say hello. Holding her in my arms she looked so peaceful, as if she were sleeping. But instead of sleeping in my arms, she was sleeping in the arms of Jesus. My first few weeks were devastating, filled with numbness, sadness, anger and fear. I never thought I would smile again. Better days are starting to mix in with the bad now. It will get better. My heart has started to beat again, and with every beat I heal. I give myself the time and space to grieve. I cry when I feel like crying, laugh when I feel like laughing and know that it is all okay. I remember why Jesus came and died on the cross; that I too may live with Him and my daughter in heaven forever. I'm comforted in knowing that Jesus instantly received her in His loving embrace. Her life was not in vain and now she's living forever. After reading my story please realize that you will never be alone. We may never find the answer why, but perhaps there is comfort in knowing that our children are serving a purpose far greater than we could have ever imagined for them. If we have accepted Jesus as our personal savior, we will all be together with them again someday.